Sunday, August 13, 2017

I Still Remember the Day

Dear R,

I still remember the day you took a running course to my house. At that time I did not know how persistent you were, that I took half of your saying as passing jokes. As we all agree now, it was never the case. You actually walked (or ran) your talk. You stole some part of me that morning. One thing I did not realise.. it was only the beginning.

I still remember the day you hold my hand for the first time. It is been the longest time since I had that fluttering butterflies in the stomach situation. Exponential, uncontrollable, heart rates. As cheesy as it sounds, it was one of my happiest moments. I could not understand why but I know it has to be you.

I still remember the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. We went on our first official date, a cliche movie and IKEA date. We spent the whole day together and finally you started the conversation. It was not a question, it was a statement. I remember the fluttering butterflies went back the moment you caught me in your lips.

I still remember the day you ran your first marathon. Waiting at the finish line was such a thrilling experience. The suspense of waiting for you call or message although I could check your position. That moment you passed the finish line was pure happiness. We were still so much in our honeymoon period. I could not express how happy I was during our dates to my favorite places and meeting your family.

I do not remember the day we first met. Yet I remember (almost) all the subsequent encounters. Between the days above, I learned about and from you. A thick headed, stubborn, yet adorable being. Adorable because you are such a kind-hearted, honest and genuinely love the people you choose.

I learned how to love and to commit. That love is giving and receiving. That communication is very important to grow the relationship. From you I finally understand what I have been looking to finally settle my anchor. Because you erased or move aside all the thoughts and doubts so that I found a peaceful corner in myself. Enough to start appreciating and accepting, to stepping up the game.

I still remember the day you proposed to me. There was no fancy dinner, no kneel down proposal. Maybe you were nervous and wanted to give the ring as soon as possible although we both already know the answer. Of course I would say I do. That day changed my status into someone's fiancee, unofficially.

Thank you for being here and there, through the peaks and troughs. I am so excited to start collecting more moments with you. I love you, I really do.


Much loves,
K

Monday, August 7, 2017

Wedding Prep: Jakarta MUA Hunting! (+ Pricelist)

Source: Google

Halo!

Post ini sengaja ditulis dalam Bahasa Indonesia karena saya membayangkan pembacanya adalah sesama calon pengantin yang sedang mencari vendor untuk pernikahannya. Saya merasa sangat sangat sangat terbantu dengan adanya blog-blog yang posting informasi dan review vendor pernikahan seperti:

https://shintamichiko.com/
https://asandask.com

Although I don't know them personally, I really am thankful for the help, heaps!

Sejak dilamar dan mulai mempersiapkan pernikahan hal pertama yang saya pikirkan adalah make up artist karena mendengar cerita orang yang sudah menikah, blog serta forum banyak yang bilang bahwa mereka kesusahan mencari make up artist pada saat sudah mepet. Sebelum menentukan tanggal pun saya sudah menghubungi beberapa make up artist untuk meminta pricelist mereka. Siapa saja yang sudah aku hubungi?

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

pensieve

That one fine day in my visual pensieve

Many years of blogging, I have gone through similar moments many many times: seconds to my birthday, condensed cloud of thoughts, blog entries. Not sure whether this tatooine thing works as remedy or simply a stash to evaporate some of the thoughts into a recorded nothingness--something like Dumbledore's pensieve.

So, now we are approaching the second half of 20s. My teenage angsty dream only wandered till mid 20s, I have zero expectations of adulthood. Yes, apparently my definition of adulthood is beyond 25, which I am slowly entering--as ticks goes on and on.

Like the typical others, I wandered to the islands of "what have I done" and "what do I want to do in life". Can't believe I have been rowing to the same destinations for almost half of my life and still cannot fully figured the exact locations. Still with the old pre-birthday cloud. Tee-hee!

Regardless of that angsty teen daydreams, I still feel like the same person I was yesterday, the day before, a month ago, a year ago, three years ago..  Still experiencing all the Firsts. You know, that tingles of firsts: first uniform, first school day, first crush, first kiss, first Disneyland visit (when you are old enough to actually remember lol), first boyfriend/girlfriend, and the list goes on. Apparently, leaving the teens i.e. being an adult equals experiencing many many many firsts. First legal ID, first driving license, first degree, first job interview, first work day, first work assignment, first business trip, and so on and so oooon.

Maybe I merely have to adjust my definition of "getting older", maybe we don't grow as we age. Reality, as usual, is not as simple.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

the decade-long debutante

Japan, 2015

Being in the 20s, we spend lots and loads of time to forecast the future.

In an excited way or enveloped in a vague, matte, shadowed pod. Regardless, we are still moving. Trying to fit the projections into reality or at least the nearest future available.

They say that is the best thing of being young--unknown futures with unlimited possibilities. The only time when people would actually forgive your silly mistakes, understand your unforgivable acts and shrugs over your major turns and reroutes on life.

The 20s is a decade-long debutante.

To actually embrace the world with your new spectacles, form of maturity. Be it narrow or wide, circled or squared, with shades or clear.


May the odds be ever in your favor. Amen.


 

Saturday, October 22, 2016

The wind-up bird chronicle



Currently dwelling into another Murakami's well. Too deep and dark I almost lost myself.

Apparently logic has penetrated deep into my deepest veins that along the pages I keep questioning the same question: why am I reading this? Murakami has been quite successful in bringing up those things and stuff I (didn't know that I) don't want to read such as human-skinning process and self-torturing. No, just no.

The usual Murakami topics such as existence, solitude and confusion are also equally irritating. Those used to be my favourites, a meta-part of me was always crave for them. Yet I find myself having a hard time to actually understand or even to have a little sympathy for the characters. Maybe Murakami is way  too god-like in this one, there is hardly a way for the characters too freely find themselves.

Or.. is it my ventures into Adult world that has swayed me from being.. me?