Tuesday, March 21, 2017

pensieve

That one fine day in my visual pensieve

Many years of blogging, I have gone through similar moments many many times: seconds to my birthday, condensed cloud of thoughts, blog entries. Not sure whether this tatooine thing works as remedy or simply a stash to evaporate some of the thoughts into a recorded nothingness--something like Dumbledore's pensieve.

So, now we are approaching the second half of 20s. My teenage angsty dream only wandered till mid 20s, I have zero expectations of adulthood. Yes, apparently my definition of adulthood is beyond 25, which I am slowly entering--as ticks goes on and on.

Like the typical others, I wandered to the islands of "what have I done" and "what do I want to do in life". Can't believe I have been rowing to the same destinations for almost half of my life and still cannot fully figured the exact locations. Still with the old pre-birthday cloud. Tee-hee!

Regardless of that angsty teen daydreams, I still feel like the same person I was yesterday, the day before, a month ago, a year ago, three years ago..  Still experiencing all the Firsts. You know, that tingles of firsts: first uniform, first school day, first crush, first kiss, first Disneyland visit (when you are old enough to actually remember lol), first boyfriend/girlfriend, and the list goes on. Apparently, leaving the teens i.e. being an adult equals experiencing many many many firsts. First legal ID, first driving license, first degree, first job interview, first work day, first work assignment, first business trip, and so on and so oooon.

Maybe I merely have to adjust my definition of "getting older", maybe we don't grow as we age. Reality, as usual, is not as simple.